Foster care and adoption
Questions for a changing family
Foster care and adoption look different depending on where you are standing — whether you came into a family this way, built one this way, opened your home to a child, or aged out of a system that stopped calling. What these have in common is that family stopped being something you could take for granted.
These questions are not a plan and they are not advice. They are for the parts of this that are harder to say out loud than the version you give people who ask.
How to use this
Take one. Not all eight. Some of these will not apply to your situation — skip those without guilt. The ones that make you uncomfortable are usually the ones already taking up room.
Who in your life understands this without you having to explain it first?
What did you imagine this would look like, and what does it actually look like?
The gap is not a failure. It is just information.Where do you feel loyalty pulling in two directions?
What part of this is grief, even though it is supposed to be a good thing?
What do you find yourself explaining to people over and over, and what does it cost you to keep explaining it?
What has this asked of you that you did not know you had?
Is there a question about your own story you have never let yourself ask out loud?
If a year from now this felt settled, what would be different?
Not resolved. Settled. Those are not the same thing.
If sitting with these raised more than it settled, that is usually a sign it is worth talking through.
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